A lame horse and some self reflection!

Horses are great levellers and it turns out that Toy's lameness may not be as straight forward as first thought.

 

He was lame on and off for a few weeks and in the end I called the vet as I did not know what to do next. She had a good look and a poke and we are still none the wiser. She suggested nerve blocks and x-rays but I went with my gut instinct and decided just to give him a few weeks off. He is just finishing his 10 day course of bute and will stay off work until Friday when we will trot him up and see what happens next. He is looking amazing, has a very shiny coat and is still as cheeky as ever. Getting him to eat the feed with bute in has proven a bit of a challenge but I have won him over with apples and carrots and a splash of apple juice instead of water!

All of this started just as I was re-considering my plans for the year, thinking that I might have a break from eventing and concentrate on dressage, aiming for an Area Festival qualification instead. Now to be honest I will be happy just to get back on board. I am not very good at being ill and it turns out I am not very good at having a horse off work either! I get so frustrated that it is out of my control and not knowing the cause really is a horrible feeling. I know I am not the first person to have a lame horse and I certainly won't be the last but it does test your resilience!

 

The first few events of the year have felt like very hard work, a fair few tears were shed after our elimination in the BE100 at Swalcliffe and I have had to remind myself that I ride for fun. I am not afraid of hard work and live for a challenge but have questioned why I want to step up...because I think I should, because other people expect me too or because I really want to do it? I still feel like I have a huge amount to prove to myself but then again I don't think I will ever be completely happy with what I have achieved at what ever level.

 

I have spent a few days wondering what on earth you do when you have no horse to ride but have since filled my time with a lovely trip to Devon to see friends and family, the yard has had a good tidy and my tack is sparkly clean. I have also been helping a few friends at the yard, pulling manes and videoing dressage tests. I love helping people with their horses, especially when they are trying so hard to get it right. It has helped put into context my feelings about eventing, every rider wants to achieve something, even if it just being a happy hacker, we all love our horses to bits. Those of us with higher hopes and a competitive streak all have our own battles and I know deep down that every achievement, however small should be celebrated. I am just not very good at taking my own advice!

 

Fingers crossed that Toy will be sound on Friday and we can start our rehab, I will walk him in hand for as long as it takes and be very cautious about getting back on board, however impatient I am feeling!